Tuesday, July 23, 2013

It Isn't Over

Hello Beautiful. I know that my posts have been few and far between as of late. I know that I have alluded to "things" going on in my life that have kept me away, but haven't truly given explanation of what those things were. I think enough time has passed that I feel I can share what has been going on in my world with you.

Are you ready for this? I'm not sure if I am, but I'm going to take a deep breath and pray that writing this will actually be therapeutic for me.

Since the beginning of I Look Good Today in 2011, I have shared personal stories with you that revolved around my hubby and I. Stories of how we met, dating, marriage, sex and everything in between. We have been together since 2001 and he was everything to me. I had my prince charming. My fairytale was complete.

Well, as any couple does, we had our issues, and to make a long story short, those issues became overwhelming, and in Oct of last year I moved out of our fairytale "castle" and separated from my prince.

This decision did not come lightly, it didn't come with first exhausting every opportunity to change the situation and it didn't come without extreme heartache. I found myself a shell of the person that I was leading up to this decision. It was the hardest decision of my life (in our life) to make. I felt my world was ending. We aren't talking a casual relationship that was ending here friends. We were talking twelve years of sharing your life with someone you loved deeply. Twelve years of memories. We met when I was 22! I'm now 35!

So, hopefully you can understand a bit more of why I went off the radar for a while and why I am still, almost a year later, pulling myself back into the routine of writing a daily blog and sometimes it is just easier than others.

This all being said, I look at the calendar and think. . .wow, a year has almost gone by. I look at the person that I had become and who I am now and think. . .oh hello Jamie - there you are, I've missed you.

We all go through really hard times in our lives and no one can tell you the extent to how hard you will be hit by your circumstance! Sadly, there was nothing - and I mean nothing - anyone could say to me in my darkest moments that truly consoled me. I felt loved by friends and family, I felt supported, yet I still felt EXTREMELY alone! I was a prisoner in my own head. I cried daily. I was in literal hell! I could not believe that a marriage, a partnership, that had been so strong was crumbling before me and there were too many broken pieces for us to pick up without getting hurt some more.

I literally thought my story was ended. He was the love of my life. Was anyone going to love me like that again? Was I ever going to feel whole again?

It is amazing to me how we go through circumstances in our lives and honestly experience a flood of emotions. I was sad, I was angry, depressed, fearful, faithful, anxious with anticipation, excited for what could be, devastated of what was, guilty for not being able to make things work. . .

Can you understand where I am coming from? You may not have experienced saperating from your spouse, but I am sure you have faced challenges in your life that have been overwhelming.

What I have learned is this. Life does go on. The sun will continue to shine. You will find happiness again.

My mother gave me very good advice, probably the best I have heard, when I was at my worst. She told me to focus. Focus on one, just ONE thing each day that made me happy - that was a positive in my life and hold on to it to carry me through the day. Do you know how hard even that was for me? I was lucky to be functional, and now I was supposed to find something positive? I was going down a very dark and scary path and I knew that if I was going to make it, I needed help.

Luckily I didn't fall in to any of the substance abuse techniques of coping - believe me, it would have been easy to do so. I just focused on the positive as my mother said, I surrounded myself with family and friends,  I prayed and found comfort in my faith and just took one day at a time.

Looking back, a new person, a stronger person, I can tell you with resounding confidence that YES someone will love me and YES I will feel whole again and YES my story isn't over - in fact, it is just beginning.



Tuesday, July 2, 2013

I Wish They All Could Be California Curls

What It Is: Julep bottled the beach! This paraben-free spray uses sea salt water infused with a combination of marine botanicals that provide intense moisture and essential nourishment. The two-punch combo protects hair from sun damage while creating ocean-kissed, tousled waves.

What It Does: Adds texture, boosts volume, and creates gorgeous, ocean-kissed waves allowing for weightless volume and a carefree look, with little work. Great for fine hair to add volume and texture and curly or wavy hair to add piecy texture.

How To Use: Spray on damp or dry hair, finger dry or let air dry. For maximum body, diffuse with heat. Works on wet hair to create volume, on dry hair for piecy texture.
  Features & Benefits:
  • Creates soft, natural looking texture without getting crunchy or greasy.
  • Natural sea salt adds texture and volume with a slight matte finish.
  • Marine botanicals provide moisture and protect hair from sun damage.
I have natuarlly really wavey hair, but you would never know that because I get my hair Japanese straightened once a year for a sleek look.

I do love that loose curl look. I was always so envious of girls who had it. . .aren't we always wanting what we don't have with our hair?

When my July Julep box came and this was included I was THRILLED! I couldn't wait to try it! This smells amazing and gave my straight locks a beachy, sea salt kissed bounce. 

Friday, June 28, 2013

Friday Flashback



{On the set of our local ABC affiliate to promote this year's BeYOUty Camp. I am SO PROUD to be part of, and one of the founders of, such an incredible event that instills positive self esteem in teen girls. You can learn more about the camp at www.camp4girls.com}

Hello Sunshine. How was your week? Mine was filled with TV interviews, visits with college football players, home cooked meals and evening walks with my BFF. Everything about this week seemed to leave me with a feeling of pride. I am so proud to be a part of the BeYOUty Camp. Proud to be a USF alumni and getting to interact with current players of the Bulls football team. Proud to be an example to our patients that no matter your disabiliy, you CAN and WILL accomplish your dreams if you put your mind to it.

When I started this blog I never imagined the outpouring of support from everyone. The sweet emails and comments and posts on Facebook and Twitter I receive are absolutely humbling. You share your life with me and I appreciate it more than you will EVER know!

Have a wonderful weekend!
{The USF Football team donated 3 full-sized helmets to Shriners Hospitals for Children - Tampa today. A big thank you to the Bulls!}

{Absolutely LOVE this pearl necklace from Belle's Boutique, a new online shop started by my friend Hollie.}


{A yummy chicken dinner.}

{I know it isn't a new release, but I just watched Pitch Perfect for the first time this week. From start to finish I was laughing. What an AMAZING cast! I would totally join The Barn Bellas!}

Monday, June 24, 2013

Zelda


Good Morning Gorgeous! I am smitten! Absolutely 100% head over heals!

This is a long overdue review of Julep Zelda! Yes, the name of this polish is Zelda! It’s not Zelda Ocarina Time of Zelda, though. This polish was named after Zelda Fitzgerald, the wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald, the author of the Great Gatsby. I got this polish as a part of Julep’s May Maven box, which was flapper styled (I think because many beauty product companies expected The Great Gatsby movie to leave a great impact on the female viewers…)

This polish consist of silver shiney coat, and light copper ‘dye’ that colors the silver pieces. It is very similar to Julep Sienna, but it feels cooler because of the silver base tone. And like Sienna, and Cindy, this Julep metallic nail polish goes on really well without leaving streaks. I remember Julep blog calling this color a pink gold polish. I guess I can see that but I still would label this color copper-ish silver polish.

Although metallic polishes are never grabbed upon first glance in my polish stash, I have to say that I was blown away by her opacity, her smoothness, and her subtle, classy, but equally sassy color. As you can see, shimmer shimmer shimmy shim shimmer.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

What I'm Wearing Wednesday


{Top - gifted, black pants - NYC & Co, shoes - Coach, earrings - gifted, Fossil watch}

Good Morning Lovely. I realized that I haven't done a What I'm Wearing Wednesday post in quite some time and when I wore this little number recently, I just loved how it all came together! I know we all have "those outfits" that simply make you feel great - this is one of mine!

I have been running on turbo lately (Thank goodness my chair has a seatbelt. . .I hope that made you smile). I just simply been busy with work and social events that this girl hasn't had time to take a breather. I am however going to be taking a trip in Aug to visit my hometown in PA for my grandmother's 91st birthday - I can't wait.

I have some exciting new posts coming up, as well as a fabulous giveaway you won't want to miss.

I'd love your thoughts on What I'm Wearing Wednesday!













Tuesday, June 4, 2013

What Does Your Nail Polish Say About You?

Do you ever look at other people’s nails and form an opinion about their personalities? For example, when you notice a woman’s perfectly un-chipped, pale pink manicure, do you immediately think that she’s conservative and sophisticated?

Whether they’re glammed up with sparkly polish or left plain and unadorned, nails can tell a lot about a person. And with all of today’s polish and decor options, there are countless ways to speak volumes about yourself. This may make you wonder, what do my nails say about me?

Red Nails

These say the wearer, like Brooklyn Decker, is “perfectly polished,” pun intended. Fire engine-red nails tell others that you are daring, outgoing, and highly confident. Wear these for a night out to show off your diva side!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Dark Blue and Black Nails
 
Blue and black are not for the faint of heart. These shades tell others that you are outgoing and live on the wild side. When people see these nails, like on comedian Whitney Cummings, they get the impression that you live an adrenaline-filled lifestyle full of constant excitement!
 
 
 
 
 
Bright Pink
 
Barbie pink nails, like Audrina Patridge‘s, are for light-hearted, optimistic girls–even if you can’t drive the Barbie dream car, why not rep the dream manicure?








 Blinged-Out
 
Glittery nails are reserved for true glamour girls like Katy Perry–even if real diamonds are out of the question, nails can still look decadent enough to break the bank. Try encrusting your digits with pavĂ© Swarovski crystals to get the right reflection!





Neon

Rocking a neon hue is a good sign that you’re up for a good time. Polishes in neon pink, green, orange, and yellow hues let others know that, like AnnaLynne McCord, you are an outgoing extrovert that loves a good party!


 




Chipped Polish

Stars like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Jessica Simpson are frequently seen appearing to be in need of a manicure. When people see chipped nail polish, they can tell that you live a busy lifestyle and don’t have a lot of time to relax (or worse, don't care much about your appearance). If you see that your polish is chipped, take three minutes out of your day to remove the rest. Clean, naked nails are better than the alternative.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Surf the Wave


Hello Gorgeous. I hope you all had a lovely long Memorial Day Weekend!

I woke up this morning simply on cloud 9 and ready to concur the day. I just simply have some things and people in my life right now that continually bring a smile to my face.

On the flip side, I am saddened. Two very dear friends had great losses in their families this weekend. One lost a great grandmother and one her father. Another friend was rushed to the hospital by ambulance because her left side went completely numb.

I have some friends going through very rough times at work and in their finances.

I also spoke with a friend that may have a new job singing on a cruise ship.

When I think back on the tidal wave of emotions that overtook me in a simple weekend. . .love, laughter, sadness, fear, hope, excitement. . .I couldn't help but to think of how it is SO IMPORTANT to choose a positive outlook on life, no matter your situation.

I know what you are saying. . .

"If you even knew what I was going through, you'd see why I don't have a smile on my face."

I know that life's circumstances can be overwhelming. Believe me, I understand more than you know! I have been through things in my life that I simply saw no light at the end of the tunnel. No hope. No happy ending.

With the help of a supportive family and friends, my faith and simply choosing to not give up, those negative feelings that were all consuming and sweeping me out to sea, became more of a soft wake than a rolling tidal wave.

How we deal with things in life is a choice. Yes, feelings and emotions are circumstantial, but we still have a choice.

My mother, a very wise woman, has given me much advice throughout my life. She is truly my sounding board. One of the things she has told me that has stuck in my head since I was a little girl is this. . .

We have very limited control over so many aspects of our life. Don't waste your emotions on those things you have no control over.

Yes, yes I know - easier said than done to not worry or dwell. However, I have lived my life trying to do just that. Now, I am not saying just throw caution to the wind. That isn't what my mother meant. What she meant was - we have to take control and put our time and emotions into things that we can make a difference in. Those "what if this" or "what if that" happens moments are not constructive and only lead to feelings that will inevitably take you to very dark places.

So today I choose to hold on to those feelings that make me feel good. Those people, those moments that put a smile on my face.

Today I choose to help carry those through their rough waters so they can come up for fresh air and see that there is hope.

We don't get to choose too many things in our life experienes, but we can choose our reactions to what comes our way.

Remember inner peace begins the moment we choose to not allow another person or event to control our emotions.

So friends, find that inner sunshine and put on your best summer smile!