Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Being a "Normal" Wife

This October it will be 5 years that I rolled down the aisle and said, "I do" to being the wife of the most amazing man I know. I was 28 at the time and so excited to spend the rest of my life being a wife to my best friend.

As any couple does, my hubby and I have gone through good times, bad times, and all the times in between. We are very good about working through any disagreement and thankfully don't find ourselves disagreeing on much of anything.

When I said "I do" in my mind I was instantly a different person. Of course I was still Jamie, but I was now not the single Jamie who had a fiance. I was the married Jamie who was now responsible for a putting on my wifely crown and taking care of my man.

I think for most women in their late 20's - early 30's, stepping in to that role isn't much of a stretch. We've typically gotten whatever "it" is out of our system and are ready to settle down and have a family. I certainly was at that point, but I had an inner struggle that I had to deal with.

How was I going to be a "normal" wife when I'm not normal?

I'm going to tell you ladies a little secret, but don't tell your hubby or significant other I said so. They might feel bad they are not pulling this kind of weight.

Here are the household "chores" my hubby does without my even asking (This is in addition to him helping me get dressed, take a shower, use the restroom, drive me where ever I want/need to go, etc):

1) Cleaning (dusting, mopping, vacuuming, windows, bathrooms, etc)
2) Laundry
3) Takes out the garbage
4) Cooks
5) Lawn maintenance (We have a lawn guy, but hubby will trim trees and such.)

I know that many women would say, "Thank you God!" if their spouse did what my hubby is doing. It isn't that I don't appreciate his efforts, but sometimes it leaves me with the feeling of. . .I'm the wife, I'm supposed to do those things. I physically can't do 99% of those things, so what can I do to feel like a "wife"?

My hubby, bless his heart, has told me time and again that it doesn't matter whatsoever to him that I cannot do the "normal" wifely deeds and that he is happy to do them. He reminds me that I am an emotional support to him, I make sure any appointments are made that we need for Dr visits, vehicle maintenance, I take care of making sure the bills go out on time. . .most of all, I do my best to make him happy.

In 2011, where the days of a retro"housewife" are becoming a thing of the past. I am learning to let go of the impression I have had in my head of what a wife's role should look like. I am embracing my role as my hubby's wife and am thankful every day to have found a man like him who embraces it with me.

I won't lie and say that it never bothers me that I can't surprise him with a home cooked meal or have his laundry done for him while he relaxes on the couch. All I can do is try my best to be the best at what I can do.

I may not be June Cleaver, but my hubby can sure give her a run for her money!


  1. Every couple finds the right balance. It sounds like you two have found yours, and that's great news. I wish you the best.

  2. There are different stengths that each person has, and it sounds like you have a lot of strengths in scheduling and emotional support.

    Someone said something the other day that really resonated with me. A husband and wife are like the right hand and the left hand of the same body. You don't keep score of which things your left hand does and which your right hand does!

    It's great to hear how you balance things. I am not married yet and I often wonder about how modern couples navigate this issue.