Thursday, June 28, 2012

Somebody to Love

Good Morning Gorgeous. I hope you have been well. I'm sorry for my absence. My computer decided to die on me last week and as such, I have not been able to spend much time here at I Look Good Today. But not to worry, my technological troubles have been resolved and I'm back :)

So now that we have that covered. . .let's get to the important stuff!

How often have you heard someone say, "I just want someone to love?" or "Why can't I find anybody who wants to be with me?"

From when we are very young we are all on that eternal quest to find love. To have that someone special in our lives that makes us feel appreciated, respected, safe, admired . . . that their world simply isn't the same without us.
I’ve seen it with friends and coworkers too – always bouncing from one relationship to the next with little time between to enjoy being single. No time to just be “you” rather than “the two of you”.

It’s like there’s something uncomfortable about being single for some people, as if being outside a relationship leaves them out in the cold, not knowing what to do. It is like there’s a fear that if they leave themselves in singledom they won’t find anyone else who’ll accept them, or that now that they are single they find who they are to be unacceptable.

When single, these people lose confidence in their ability to be themselves; they don’t trust that they can lead their life by themselves. If you’re one of these people, please listen to me. . .YOU ARE AMAZING ALL BY YOURSELF!!!

Now I can hear you over there. . .what does she know, she's married and has been with someone for 11 years! Who is she to tell me it is OK to be single?

Ok, I get ya! HOWEVER, the majority of my life I was the single girl. All my friends had one boyfriend after another in high school and college. Was I envious at times. Of course. Everyone I think deep down wants someone to love.

I had boyfriends, but they were few and far between and honestly I was fine with that.

The trick here is that I was (am) happy with who I am. I'm happy with being me. I'm happy in my world. Now that isn't to say that sharing my life and being with someone wouldn't bring me even greater happiness, however I realized, even at a young age, that my happiness and self worth should not ever depend on someone else.

The trick is to find a solid sense of who you are and what you’re about. A sense that no matter what happens – relationship or no relationship – you’ll be just fine. The trick is to want to be in a relationship because of everything it brings to the table and everything it allows you to be and do, not because you need to be in a relationship.

This means being brutally honest about what fears you have about being single, and finding a way to be okay with that fear. Entering into a relationship because you’re scared of what might happen if you don’t sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it? Entering into a relationship because you know how much you want to be in it strikes me as the most wonderful thing possible.

So my challenge to you friends, whether you are in a relationship or not, is this - be happy with YOU. Find those qualities in YOUR life that make you sparkle. Our life is too short to not be happy with WHO WE ARE!


  1. Yes! Love yourself first!

    Glad you're back!

  2. Glad to have you back with such an inspiring blog. You are correct to say that you can't rely on others to make you happy. You have to find your own happiness. Others can add to that happiness. Many people search unrealistically for all of their lives for others to make them happy. We have to start the search from within. Love from your proud Aunt

  3. You really hit the bullseye with this post.
    I WAS one of those young people who worried about being single, about being loved, about being part of a couple.
    My heart would ache when I went to church and I would see couples everywhere or I would see a husband lovingly put his arm around his wife. I wanted that for myself.
    You are absolutely correct when you say the trick is to find develop a solid sense of yourself.
    It sounds cliche, but when I stopped looking, and got into a relationship with myself....I met my husband when I least expected it. And we met "cute" as they say...but it was truly unexpected and I believe because I committed to develop my self; my career, my education. I decided to stop dating every guy who showed interest in me and decided to be discriminating. It's not easy. But it is in every woman's best interest to be strong and love yourself enough to know when to say no.
    The new mantra "It gets better" can be applied to this topic too. As you become more in tune to yourself, that nagging ache to settle for Mr. Wrong eases.
    Great post, Jamie!

  4. I have ever seen a same photos a few days ago and the hand with really pure water!