Tuesday, September 27, 2011
From Where I Sit: Let's Talk About Sex Baby!
So let's start out with the question posed to me by an anonymous reader:
Q. "So yeah. I'm curious about the sex thing. I figured since your legs don't work, neither does anything below the waist. Can you feel it? I figured the guy has to do all the work since you can't move your legs. I guess woman on top is out. What about doggy? Or missionary? I guess I'm interested to know about the mechanics of it all. Don't leave it as yeah I can have sex."
A. For me what happens in the bedroom is pretty "normal." I understand that there is often a misconception that if you can't walk, you obviously cannot move or feel anything below the waist. For me neither is true. I can move and feel everything 100% normally. My issue is that I have a muscle weakness that prevents me from being able to stand or walk. So in my case, the events that go on in the bedroom are really nothing out of the ordinary.
Some differences for my husband and I? The biggest would be that he has to put me on the bed. I can't transfer myself. Also, I cannot undress myself totally, so again, his help is needed. Now, I don't know about you ladies, but I do not see a problem with either of these, and if this is my biggest challenge with being romantic with my husband, that's fine with me.
I am lucky in this respect that myself and my husband can enjoy each other without much, if any, alterations. For those with disabilities that are more involved, then yes, I am 100% sure that what you and I would consider "normal" is not so for them, but at the same time, they find out what works for them. We all have our little "thing" that turns us on, so they need to find and utilize what does it for them.
One thing that does bum me out is the fact that sexy lingerie is sorta out for me. Not that I am against it by any means, but since I need help getting dressed what am I gonna do say, "Hey Honey, can you help me put this cute little number on?" Ahhh no, what would be the point? For me it would be sort of a mood breaker, what do you think?
Keep this in mind. Sex doesn't always have to mean actual intercourse. I think people forget what a turn on a touch, a kiss, etc can really be. I truly believe when it comes down to it, it all depends on having the right partner, whether you are disabled or not. You want someone that you feel 100% comfortable with; who accepts you, imperfections and all. You want someone you love that loves you back. When you have those things in your favor, the passion you have will leave you trembling for more.