Monday, February 18, 2013
Two Little Words
Why do we do that? Why are we not honest with what we are truly feeling inside?
I know for me personally, I have always been the one that people come to with their problems. I am the friend that you cry to, confide your secrets in and lean on for support. When the tables are turned, people are almost uncomfortable with the fact that I am in need of support - it truly is funny to see the look on people's faces. . .wait, Jamie is the strong one, why is she having a weak moment.
I think sometimes we put on that happy face for a multitude of different reasons. Maybe we don't want to burden someone else with our issues. Maybe we think that even though we are dying inside, we still can handle the situation on our own. Maybe we are embarrassed to tell someone what is truly going on. The reasons why are endless, but the outcome is the same. We need help and we are not getting it.
I don't know if you follow country music. Depending on the artist I can be a fan. When I was in high school one of my favorite country music artists was Mindy McCready. I loved her song, "Ten Thousand Angels" - it made me think of a particular guy that I had a crush on. For years she was tormented by substance abuse, failed relationships, issues with the law, and yesterday she was found dead in her home in Heber Springs, Arkansas.
McCready is originally from Fort Myers, FL, which is a neighboring city to where I had lived for many years, so I always felt she was a hometown star. My heart ached for her family when I heard the news last night.
I never knew her, but have friends that do. I always found it so sad that you can have a person who to the world seemed to have it all - a successful music career, two children, a loving family. . .but it wasn't enough. There was evidently a huge demon inside that made her feel very alone and hopeless.
An article I read last night about her suicide had mention of her father seeing her the week prior, and that she appeared to be in good spirits. When I hear stories like these I can't help but think of how so many of us do just that. We don't want our family, our friends, our coworkers to worry about us. We want them to all think we are doing just fine and so we put on a happy face.
What if she would have been honest around her family last week? What if instead of acting as if everything was OK, she let herself be vulnerable? Might she be with us today?
I know it isn't easy to be honest with our feelings sometimes. I know for me, sometimes I just want to get through my day. I know the challenges I am facing, and not that I am ignoring them, but I deal the best I can. Look, no one is expected to be strong every single day and we are all entitled to our down moments.
What I think is important here is to have at least one person that you can confide in. That you can call day or night to pour your heart out to. It is equally as import to BE that person to someone else. You truly have no idea of the significance you can make to someone - you might just save their life.